Do You Know
by myfaerytale
Summary: "You have to move on, Arizona." She whispered. "We can't keep doing this. We can't keep hurting each other. We're not the same people we were when we first met and I can't do this with you anymore. I'm tired of my heart being played with." A/N: one shot based off of what could take place in 12x05


"Why didn't you tell me?"

Callie and Edie were in the bathroom in Meredith's home, the frantic pacing of Edie combine with the limited space was making Callie that much more irritated. Her heart was pounding against her chest and her palms slipped on the sink she gripped as her palms perspired. A pulsating ache struck her head, confusion and anger and betrayal repeatedly running through her thoughts.

"I was going to tell you I just-"

"When were you going to tell me that you killed Derek Shepherd?" she knew the statement was harsh, maybe over exaggerated, but that's how it sounded. The brief and very heated discussion that erupted minutes ago between her girlfriend and Meredith still echoing against her ears. "I'm sorry, that was wrong."

"Say it. Say it again." Edie stopped her pacing to stand directly in front of Callie. Her pale cheeks were a scarlet right, pieces of her hair being harshly shoved behind her ear. "Why do you believe her? Why can't you listen to my side of the story?"

"Because you never told me! You knew Derek was my friend this whole time, you knew that Meredith and I are close. How could you think that not telling me something as important as this?" her voice rose in both pitch and volume with each word, the occasional drip of the faucet ceasing as if it could sense the tension in the room.

"When was I supposed to tell you? Our first date? Our second? When Callie?"

Callie covered her face with her hands, the intensity of their conversation and memories of her friend bubbling to the surface. "I don't know."

"Listen to me; I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I didn't know how I was going to tell you. I didn't want to lose you as soon as I found you, Cal." She took a hesitant step closer, pale hands playing with the ends of her blouse. "Yes, I was on his case, but I didn't kill him. There were complications and I was new and-

"Can you just leave? Please?" the last phrase cracked, tears now streaming down her face and in between shaking fingers. Callie didn't want to hear the details of her friends' death, she didn't want to remember any more pain from the past. She just couldn't handle any more heartbreak.

She really liked this girl, she really thought that Edie could have been someone important in her life. She was kind and funny, they shared the same thoughts and they had so many of the same interests.

But for her to keep a secret like this? Yes, they had only been dating for a few months, though…

"Get out." The demand was laced with finality, anger. She turned around to better grip the old and worn sink, brown eyes glancing up at the mirror to see Edie taking slow steps out of the small space.

Callie shut her eyes, the faint sound of the wooden door shutting giving her a chance to break down. Sobs wracked her body, caramel hands reaching for the nearest roll of toilet paper so she could dab at her eyes. The water resumed its pattern of drip after drip after drip melded with the few sniffles she couldn't hold in.

"Callieeeee," a bang sounded at the door.

With more force, Callie dabbed at her eyes and gathered her clutch that had fallen to the ground. "Hold on I'll be out in a second!" she fumbled with the object for a moment before making her way out of the bathroom.

The person on the other side, however, had different plans.

The black doorknob wiggled in place, blonde hair and blue eyes catching Callie off guard. "Arizona what are you-"

"Sshh," Arizona placed a lazy finger over her lips, the other hand pushing Callie back into the room.

Callie held her mouth shut, the alcohol that had taken over Arizona's breath almost causing her knees to buckle. She had never seen Arizona in such an intoxicated state, the flush of her cheeks and the dark tint to her eyes something foreign to her.

"I was thiisssss close to tripping Freddie when she left the bathroom."

Callie huffed and rolled her eyes. She didn't have the patience to deal with Arizona right now, and the last thing she even wanted to think about was the other woman who had just stepped out of this bathroom.

"Her name is Edie," she corrected. "And I have to go." She made a move to step around Arizona but the blonde was not having it.

"I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry. Really. I jusssst want you to be happy. Like really happy." She smiled, yet, the tips of her lips barely reached her eyes. She reached out to grab Callie's wrist, holding her in place.

"Arizona-"

"Sshhh," she pushed Callie farther into the bathroom, looking around the contained area to make sure no one was around—at least that's what Callie had assumed—so she could shut the door. "I have a secret to tell you."

Callie rolled her eyes again, avoiding looking at her ex. She had to admit, this was quite amusing. Arizona was usually one to always be in control, to have a high level mindset. Her breath still reeked of what must have been tequila which only caused Callie's already red and watery eyes to be that much more sensitive. She wiped under her eyes, the emotions from just a few minutes ago still coursing through her body.

With a strong grip, Arizona grabbed either side of Callie's face and brought their lips together. It was light and Callie could taste not only alcohol, but also the faded flavor of Arizona's go to strawberry lip gloss. It was brief, hardly lasting more than a few seconds, but it left Callie shocked and confused.

She pushed Arizona away, the fire and tingles that started to fade from her lips. She took a step back and she felt as if she herself had taken a few shots at the sudden vertigo her head had taken in. Callie's mouth opened and closed a few times, words unable to pass her lips.

"Oh my god," Arizona whispered, faded blue eyes meeting brown for the first time since their encounter.

"W-why did you do that?"

Arizona brought a hand to her forehead as she swayed side to side. "I didn't mean for you to hear my s-secret." She explained scrunching her face. She looked up, the shimmer in her eyes almost making Callie's heart break. She could see the sadness in them, desperation and longing not too far behind. She had stared into those eyes so many times, and it was rare that she could tell what the blonde was thinking. She always had a mask, one that was crafted by skilled hands and only taken off at complete defenselessness, and right now she could see everything Arizona was feeling.

She wasn't sure how she felt at that moment. It had been almost two years since that day she made a decision or the both of them, a good decision. They were different people now and right now she was afraid that Arizona wouldn't be able to let go. She returned to her previous spot with her hands balled at her sides so she could refrain from pulling Arizona into a hug. She cared for her and she wanted the best for her, but she couldn't bring herself to touch her. She knew if she did, she'd feel what she felt the night before it was over. She would feel the strings that would tie around her heart pull her back in, feel the love that radiated from the blonde envelope her to no return.

"You have to move on, Arizona." She whispered. "We can't keep doing this. We can't keep hurting each other. We're not the same people we were when we first met and I can't do this with you anymore. I'm tired of my heart being played with."

"Calliope," Arizona smiled as if every word Callie said went through one ear and out the other. "I love you. But you cannnn't tell anyoneeee." She frowned suddenly, her hands taking hold of Callie's.

"Arizona, stop," Callie was spent. So many memories were clouding her judgment, and the fact that Arizona was this close, touching her at that, made her judgement that much worse. "Stop, please." She begged.

"Weeee belong together. I'm better now, I promise." The timbre of her voice was almost like a child's; she was quiet and her eyes wide, a few pieces of her hair falling over her face. "We can be great together again."

Callie shut her eyes again, fresh tears spilling out. She knew Arizona was drunk and that she would most likely forget all of this tomorrow, but her words were hitting her hard. She had seen Arizona change over the past few years, since the light return to her eyes, the bounce back in her step. She appeared to be happy and carefree, much like how she was when they first met.

She shook her head. To be honest, she was terrified. She was scared that if she gave Arizona yet another chance, the other shoe would drop. What if right here, right now, she said screw it and just took Arizona home? What if she let all of her restrictions go and just let her heart win over her brain?

"I need time Arizona. I…can't do this right now."

Arizona stared back at her, the mask that was set aside returning to its resting place in her hard, blue eyes. "I love you, Callie."

Callie pulled her hands away and leaned their foreheads together. "I'm scared you'll ruin me. One more heartbreak from you and I don't know if-"

"I know better now." her words were clearer than earlier, the seriousness in her tone surprising considering the short amount of time they had been trapped in the bathroom. "I messed up really bad, we both did things, but you are so important to me."

"Do you know? Do you know how hard it's going to be to fully trust you again?"

Arizona released a shaky breath, Callie ignoring the strong smell. "I think you should try to move on, because I don't know how long you'll be waiting for me."

Arizona nodded. "I love you, Calliope," she whimpered. "I'll wait for you as long as I have to, but…" she was the one to take a step back this time. "I'll move on. I'll try to be happy with someone else, but I'll always wait for you. As long as there's a chance." She took another step back, this one much more ungraceful. "There is a chance, right?"

Callie dropped her head, unsure herself of what the answer to the question was.


End file.
